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The first glimpse
of my vocation as a religious came to me when I was 8. The
details are hazy now, but I remember having a dream where
Our Lord came to me as a young Boy. When I awoke the next
morning I knew without a doubt that He loved me and that, in
some mysterious way, I belonged to Him. The realization of
His love was tangible to me for quite a few days. Many years
would pass before I grasped the full import of that dream.
Thanks to my Mom and Dad’s great faith, I was baptized and
raised a Catholic. After my Confirmation the Holy Spirit
took me in hand and so began the journey of discerning my
vocation. I started to read more about the saints and the
Church. The Faith really came alive. At the same time I was
determined to pursue my dreams of joining the military.
After graduating from Northern Arizona University and being
commissioned a second Lieutenant in the United States Air
Force, I went to my first assignment on active duty. To put
it succinctly, I was miserable. To be honest, even though I
was trying to live a more faith-filled life, I was still
pretty worldly. It was a big struggle for me. Our Lord is
very patient, thank goodness! |
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One weekend in
May, I attended a Marian-Eucharistic Congress. One of the last
scheduled activities was a procession with an exact replica
depicting Our Lady of Guadalupe. As she was passing by, I said
to Our Lady, rather casually, “Change my heart.” Since most of
the people were attending the procession, I headed down to the
Adoration Chapel. As I looked at Our Lord and He looked at me,
it became clear to me He was calling me to be His Spouse. I
decided to go to Confession to a little retired Jesuit priest,
told him I thought I had a vocation, and burst into tears! Poor
Father, he didn’t know what to do with me!
A few months later (during which I wavered back and forth, back
and forth!) I was attending Sr. Marie André’s Investment in
Alabama and I was able to speak with Mother Angelica. I was
pretty sure she was going to tell me I was crazy and I didn’t
have a vocation and that would be the end of it. Well, after
about a minute of my pathetic stammering, she said to me, “Yes,
you have a vocation.” I was shocked and relieved and then,
really, really happy! I headed out to St. Michael’s Hall and at
the time, there was a picture hanging there of a young boy. It
was actually a picture of the Old Testament Joseph in his
multi-colored coat, but when I looked at it, the memory of my
dream came flooding back to me. It was a very comforting and
enlightening confirmation from Our Lord.
I was just reading in a document from the Holy See where we as
religious are called to be vocation animators. I pray my story
and the sisters’ stories lead many young people to discern
whether Our Lord is calling them to lead a life consecrated
wholly to Him. I can only say that during my religious life,
with all its struggles and trials, I have never known such joy.
Our Eucharistic Lord is this Joy, my very Life.
“I do so dearly believe that no half-heartedness
and no worldly fear
must turn us aside from following the Light unflinchingly.” ~J.R.R.
Tolkien
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